24/06/2015 - Top 5 Characters You Wish You Could Drown

To kick off my blog, I am doing my first Top 5 Wednesday! This time it is rather macabre - Top 5 Characters You Wish You Could Drown! I took me a while to think of these, but once I thought of one, they all came flowing through - just as the water would into these detestable characters!
Anyway, let the metaphorical murder commence:
5. Starting the list at number 5 is Lord Henry from The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. However much you may dislike the eponymous character for being self-absorbed, decadent and deranged, for me, the dislike was nothing when put next to that of Lord Henry. Although not actually doing anything particular which deserved the death that I hope befalls him, it was what he said that was the issue. His philosophical musings were enough to make me want to drown myself. He apparently thinks he has the secret meaning of the universe or the human condition contained within his mind, which is very untrue. His pure arrogance and pomp were what made me hate him as a character, and thus led to him being on death's row in this line-up.

4. At Number 4 is Patrick Bateman from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. This had to be done, to do the world a favour. Patrick is a psychopathic, misogynistic, homophobic, murderous stockbroker with way too much power for his own good. Not only does he describe sexual and violent scenes in graphic detail, making him and his actions disgusting enough, but he interweaves this with dense, pointless descriptions of musicians and their works. There are multiple layers of hatred you can have for this man, and I have many of them.

3. Number 3 is Lord Percival Glyde from The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins. This is my favourite book, so its villain had to feature. This will probably contain massive spoilers so I would skip onto Number 2 if you want to read this. Lord Percival is a downright scoundrel, going to extreme lengths to deceive Laura Fairlie, the girl he had recently courted by pretending to love her, in order to take her riches. Count Fosco is another who you learn to despise, but he at least has a level-head. Lord Percival is a villain, and his actions and the conspiracy he is instrumental in forging drove me to insanity. If I could save Laura the misery by drowning this vile human, I would.

2. This was a strong contender for the number 1 spot: Hatsumomo from Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. She is one of the most evil characters I have ever read about in my experiences. She sets about to make Sayuri's life a misery from the moment she set eyes on her, simply from jealousy and fear that she would contend with her in the geisha community. She almost stamps out any chance of Sayuri ever becoming a geisha at all, and she would have succeeded if it weren't for another friendly and successful geisha (who also happened to have a deep enmity for Hatsumomo, for which I cannot blame her) intervening. There is a reason I like to refer to her as the Raging Bitch of Gion, and I would happily take her on a trip to the East Coast of Japan so I can push her into the Pacific Ocean.

1. This is it: the character who I want to drown the most, and he is the supposed hero of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dr. Frankenstein. He is the worst kind of human. He made a creature from his own scientific curiosity and was instantly disgusted with it and basically tried to exile it from humans forever. I felt deep sympathy and empathy for Frankenstein's monster, because he wasn't a monster at all, but was as human as every one of us in his mind. And yet, this despicable character turned his back on him: I could parallel this with abandoning your own children. Not only does he turn his back on the monster, but he also crushes his dreams in the most brutal manner. The worst part was that the book tried to fabricate some kind of sympathy for this vile man. I do not and shall never feel sorry for this man, because he was the true monster, and he should settle in depths as black as his heart.

So, that was my top 5 list! Comment below and tell me if you agree or disagree with my choices, or if you have read the books I have listed! Until next time, adios :)